Archive for the 'Parental Relationships' Category

Children in nontraditional two-parent families — such as step families or when the biological mother is living with a boyfriend — get roughly the same amount of parental involvement as children living with both biological parents in a so-called traditional family, according to research presented at a recent meeting of the American Sociological Association.

This finding bodes well for the many children in the United States living in nontraditional families, according to study author Hiromi Ono, PhD, who cites previous research that links low parental involvement to behavior problems in children.

Children have the same amount of time with their biological mothers, regardless of the type of father figure in the household, according to the study.

Children spend about five hours more per week with their mothers than with the male parental figure, whether he is the biological father or not.

The study included about 1,500 children aged 6-12 (average age 9) living with their biological mothers, who were either married or cohabiting.

Ono, who does not look at single parents in the study, reports no significant difference in time spent with remarried biological fathers, cohabiting biological fathers, or cohabiting stepfathers compared to first-married biological fathers.

The parenting plans can be made by the care taker that is the parents and relatives who takes care of your children and grand parents.

The parenting plans cover the following:

• The issues related to your child. It may be long term issues or short term issues.
• The responsibilities for each parent and
• Considering daily your child’s life practically.

In case of divorced couples, the plans for parenting can be made after separation. It can be made before or after the divorce in case of married couples.

Parenting plans include:

• With whom your child will live?
• How will you share the parental responsibility?
• When will your child spend time with you and with other people like grand parents or care takers?
• How will your child communicate with other people and the parents he doesn’t live with?
• In case of any dispute or changes to be made to these plans, what process is used?

The legal status:
In case of the divorced parents, the plan for parenting should be done under the legal adviser. Both the parents have to sign along with the date in a written document. Each parent should have one copy of this.

If you are divorced [Divorced parenting], then shared parenting plays a positive role in your children’s lives.

This helps your children to choose with whom they what to live after the break down of the family.

It is the great responsibility of the parents to take care of their children.

The shared parenting helps your children to maintain and build up relationship with both the parents.

Some advantages of shared parenting:

• It ensures the continuation with the family for your child.
• It makes your child to feel that they have two parents, even if they live in different places.
• It ensures that not only one parent is burdened with the responsibility of your child.
• Children will do better under shared parenting than living with one parent.

Designing the plan for parenting:

You have to consider your own situations before planning for your family. For the individualized plan, you have to develop the frame work by the family assessment set that will help you.

The relationships will be more complicated, when you are living in separate homes. Raising the children will be difficult for you. One parent may disagree about the time spent for the child with the other.

If you are a step mom, you have to accept several things regarding parenting your step children.

It will be a tough job for you to parent the step children in the right way because most of the step children will have negative feelings on their step moms.

Here are some of the tips regarding how to parent the step children in the right way being a step mom:

• The first and foremost step regarding parenting step children is to eradicate the negative feelings on you by providing the essential care needed for them.
• In order to create more affection on you, know the wants and necessities of the children in advance and provide them immediately without asking for it. By this, they will feel happy and develops affection on you.
• Try to be free and frank with the children, tell them what is correct and what is wrong. Spend most of your time with the children and make them to talk with you more often. By this process, shy or inconvenience feeling which is present in them to talk with you will be reduced.

When you are planning to marry a woman, who already has child or children, then you need to make your mind set in order to become ideal step dad.

According to the research, about 55,000-60,000 million children below the age of thirteen are living with one biological parent and step dad/step mom.

Almost two out of three are expected to fail in order to grow the strong stepfamily.

It is most crucial thing for the step dad to understand his role and should do what he can to grow the relationship with stepchildren. If you cannot, it may lead the children with the lack of support.

Most of the men or women will have natural love on their hereditary children. As a step dad, you also should develop this sort of love on your step children; of course this will take sometime to happen.

Love your stepchildren as an individual, but you should never feel as if you are tolerating them.

If you cannot love your stepchildren, many new problems will arise, which can lead to division in the family, disobedience in the family, jealousy in children, etc.

If parenting is the hardest job in the world then step parenting is close to impossible.

Apart from household and other works, the most difficult thing is disciplining the step child.

As step relationships are usually complicated and loaded with disagreements, it is almost impossible for a step father or mother to refrain from disciplining their step child.

Children who have been through the trauma of divorce test the step parents limits by trying to see how far they can push until the parent is upset or breaks down.

Child testing limit is common in normal parenting also. If you are a step parent, you have to realize that there is a natural boundary between the child, the child’s parents and step parents.

Discipline! If you have a step child who is acting out, it becomes difficult for you to control the child’s misbehaviors. Biological parent must understand and should assist in that situation.

Generally the discipline should come from biological parent and not the step parent. If you wait to become involved in any disciplinary action, it gives time to be included in the children’s thinking.

Co parenting is not a new concept but it’s a new terminology. A couple that is equally involved and cooperative in the parenting of their children practice co parenting on a daily basis.

Co parenting is also used to describe divorced or separated parents who are sensitive to their child’s distress and who learn techniques that avoid putting children in the middle.

If the problems are too difficult to overcome, divorce is sometimes the result of marriage.

If you are taking divorce, it does not mean all ties are detached with other party especially when children are involved.

According to the studies, children growing up with single parents have an increased risk of experiencing cognitive, social and emotional problems.

Role of nonresident parent! Single parent find it more difficult to function effectively as parents especially when children do not live with them full time. The role of resident parent, mostly mother, is to promote child’s well being.

But the role of nonresident parent is also very important. If nonresident parents are closely involved in child’s lives, they have higher academic achievements and few emotional and conduct problems.

The love and happiness that your first child brought into your life is beyond measure. You are expecting another child now.

The thought of sharing mom and dad with new baby can be unsettling for your young child.

Older child feels rejected! When a new baby comes into picture, your old child’s world is destroyed.

Up to now, you had paid all the attention to your young child. Now they feel rejected and jealous because you spend time with new baby.

Child feels insecured! It is natural that young children feel insecured with the arrival of new baby. Anxiety in child develops. You have to think in your child’s point of view and support child in all aspects.

Your child thinks why you left home for several days, why you are staying at the hospital, what you are doing there and when she will come back. And when you return home with new baby, they are upset.

Ignoring older one! Every one concentrates on new baby and ignores him. Anxiety in child increases when he feels neglected. This does not mean to make you feel guilty to have second child. But, you have to reduce anxiety in child and understand his feelings. You should talk to him before the arrival of new child.

Every year, more than one million children are experiencing the divorce of their parents.

The effects of divorce on child can be just as difficult as the death of a parent.

Your entire family should be adjusted to new way of life.

Love is needed!

Children need love, guidance and patience from you and your partner to help them.

If you plan carefully and communicate properly, it helps in reducing the negative effects of divorce on child and family.

According to the research, children always need both parents actively involved in their lives regardless of both parents live in same house or not.

Behavior with each other is important!

The most important factor in effects of divorce on child is how you and your spouse treat each other and your children during and after the divorce. You should work with the other parent to make transitions as easy as possible for every one.

Regardless of differences between you and your spouse, you have to concentrate on child’s needs first to reduce the effects of divorce on child. Children have faithfulness and trust to both parents, so never force a child to take sides.

Divorced parenting is strenuous on everyone who is involved.

Many people think that only spouses are affected by divorce but kids are affected and sometimes more than the spouses.

Good Relationship!

Both parents should maintain a good relationship with one another for the sake of their kids in divorce situations.

It becomes essential when there is a joint custody or visiting situation.

In divorced parenting, if parents fight with each other in front of the children, it will have long lasting effects on them. In divorced parenting, it will not be easy for the parents to get along with each other.

Work With Your Ex!

The reasons behind the divorce can make it even more difficult to get along for you. Once the divorce is over, it does not mean all the ill feelings will disappear. But you have to work with your ex to put some rules to interact with each other. You and your ex should follow the rules strictly to keep the relationship cordial and to make divorced parenting not strenuous.

The most important thing in divorced parenting is, you and your ex should respect each other; no need be friends or no need to like each other but you have to respect each other’s position as parents.