When you are a parent the world around you seems to work and think on so many levels that you are always tempted to make the most of each of them.
I remember when my kids were very young how important it was for me not to follow the footsteps of my mother and raise them in a lighter and not so Spartan and disciplined environment.
I really believed that discipline in a child’s education is necessary but having a lot of memories from my own childhood I was determined not to let myself become a tyrant for my kids.
So… let me tell you my conclusion about this matter.
Walking in supermarkets I saw many children crying their hearts out asking for a certain item from the shelves and protesting strongly when their wish wasn’t respected.
It seems that either because they see other children doing this or simply because they somehow know that crying will motivate the parents, all children come to a point somewhere between the age of 2 and the age of 5 when they discover that if they want something it’s enough to cause their parents a bit of trouble in order to receive it.
My children were no different. Under the strong fear of what kind of embarrassment would have followed one of their little crises I did my best to prevent them.
Both I and my husband tried our best to explain them that it was wrong to scream when they want something. The power of example was far greater than our explanations.
Seeing other children doing the same thing gave them the courage and the excuse to try.
I am not saying that children have evil minds or that our very young boys and girls want to do terrible things to upset their parents. It’s just that at a certain point the temptation to follow the example of other kids is more powerful than everything in the world.
The reaction of many parents is to ground them and restrain themselves from ever taking the young ones shopping again.
You see…children will always consider the punishment something out of the parents’ mysterious world.
In their little minds our power of interdiction is something as similar as a Star Wars laser sword. As funny as it may seem, this makes us powerful but also turns us into some kind of “evil rulers”.
The best way to understand and handle this certain type of issue is to be wise. Being the adult does not always mean we are right. Somehow we believe that with the age comes the wisdom and with the wisdom the responsibility.
We are so very wrong! We are tempted because of our love for our children to fall in extremes, either to spoil them or to over discipline them.
Instead of doing this, we can always be wise and patient …and we can always explain.
The way we behave sets an example for our kids. If we are wise they will be good too.
I know this sounds something out of a fairy tale but I am letting experience talk here.
We are better because of our way of understanding and we motivate our children to want to do the same.