We have all seen them (or, God forbid, been them): the parent who pushes their adorable little girl into ‘beauty’ pageants, the combative parent who insists that their child should be on the team, the over enthusiastic parent who makes sure that its child is busy with every kind of class under the sun.
Some parents simply overdo what they perceive as a natural and healthy need to do what is best for their child. Others perhaps channel their own unfulfilled ambitions into their child and try and achieve those vicariously through their children – a sort of “if I couldn’t do it, my kid will” kind of attitude.
Pushy parents are also those who over-schedule a child’s life with school, sport, classes, hobbies and anything that can possibly be crammed into a child’s day.
It can start out during babyhood
There are many parents who are anxious to start their babies out on baby-yoga, baby-singing, language and even baby gym.
This sort of pushy parenting can erode natural bonds between parent and baby say researchers. Parents singing lullabies to babies, humming simple songs and reading to them and reciting traditional rhymes is perhaps all that a baby really needs.
It can be detrimental to progress
Some experts believe that even pushing a child to read before he or she is ready can put them off reading for life. Pushing sensitive children too early on can take the pleasure out of reading and have long term consequences.
Even pushing a child to make it to a sports team, particularly when the child himself or herself is not that enthusiastic can not only make the child dislike the sport it can negatively impact their self confidence.
In today’s day and age when reality TV can make stars out of nobodies practically overnight, pushy parents with unfulfilled ambitions come into their own. Seeing a spark of talent in the child, they push that child into a crazy round of auditions, camera sessions, TV shooting, and all manner of other artificial settings.
The child is encouraged to behave in an unnaturally adult fashion and as for the clothing, the makeup and hair… how can this be good for any child!
If you recognize yourself in any of the above scenarios even slightly, you need to step back and examine your parenting decisions and style. If you say you’re doing what you’re doing for your child’s own good, be honest and ask some tough questions about whether this really is the case.
Or whether your own desires and ambitions are coming into the picture somewhere?