Among the many human relationships, the adult daughter – mother relationship needs a fine balance between positive and negative feelings, connection and autonomy.
This is one crucial area that leaves most moms and daughters floundering for a solid stable ground. Communication plays a key part in developing trust, confidence and retaining affection between the two.
There is a turning point in a child’s life when mothers are perceived to be less important in their day-to day activities. What was a once a dependant relationship, becomes a need driven one that changes the whole mother-daughter balance.
Mothers need to understand that children need to be treated as individuals and find a way to stay involved in their lives by being a cool mom so that the bridge of communication makes it one of the most secure but important relationships in life.
An adolescent daughter’s step into the adult world is a stepping stone into a world of learning, experiences and heartaches. Girls need to be prepared for the eventuality and mothers can only be their best pal when guiding them.
It’s natural for most mothers to be apprehensive as to whether they are dealing the right way with their daughters. After all for mothers too this is a learning curve, though they have the advantage of drawing from their own experience as a teenager as well.
To be labelled a cool mom a few guidelines need to be followed:
1. Just be there when needed
It’s better to allow the girl to come to you when needed. Just be there when the she needs you or your advice and give her the answer that she needs to know. Do not elaborate or criticise or eulogise.
2. Accept her faults
It is but normal for an adolescent to commit mistakes. Give her the levage to learn from her mistakes, do not point them out or criticize her.
3. A cool mom should never make her daughter feel threatened
You can be a friend, but do not go overboard by becoming one of them. In other words maintain a healthy difference between yourself and your daughter. Your daughter should not be embarrassed to introduce you to her friends.
4. It is difficult yet a positively important role
As children grow up, it’s natural that they grow away from us. This is how nature has intended it to be. We cannot clip their wings and take away their learning chance to make their own decisions.
As mothers you need to be just there offering your silent and positive support when asked.
After all the pains we take as mothers we do reap the rewards of sitting back and realizing what an amazing person you helped to grow into this world and what amazing mothers we have been. Nothing is cooler or better than that!