We have all heard of the kind of parent who feels and believes that it is his effort that has produced the genius kid who has managed to win several trophies, or the parent who believes that it is something that he has done that has created this monstrous personality in the form of his child.
Is this true? Is it a fact that parenting affects your child in any way? Several experts state, emphatically, that the answer to this question is a big, loud, “NO!”
There was a time when mental disorders such as autism, schizophrenia and manic depression were all blamed on the parents, and on their parenting skills, but today, it has been proven beyond doubt that these are disorders brought on by biological causes.
Similarly, there have been cases where children who belonged to and were brought up in extremely adverse environments turned out to become model citizens, and went on to lead excellent productive lives, while well intentioned and honest good parents brought up their children with the best that they could have, only to have the child grow into a disruptive and troublesome adult.
For your information, here are a few tips on parenting styles, and how each style has a different impact on the child:
- Authoritarian style: This is the type of parent who likes to and needs to be in control of the child all the time. There are strict rules in the home and rigid punishments when they are broken. The children are told that they have to obey the rules, but they are not told why. These children often do not think or make decisions for themselves: they are accustomed to their parents making it for them.
- Permissive style: These parents give up rule making to the children, and even if there are rules, they are not enforced. There are no clear boundaries and definitions, and as a result, the children grow up with too much liberty, with no sense of whether they are doing the right thing or the wrong.
- Democratic style: These are the parents who actually help the children become responsible for themselves and for their own actions. These parents state their expectations to their children, and also explain why they are expected to do certain things. This encourages the children to follow the rules, and make decisions on their own, knowing that their parents will be able to point them in the right direction when they are wrong.
Remember, if you are a parent, you will have to first develop a bond of trust with your child, and only then, you will be able to have a positive impact on your child’s behaviour.