Am I being a good parent to my child? This is the question which comes in most of the parents.
Sometimes this becomes a very tough subject, particularly if the things escape from your hand with your parenting ways.
Even you try hard to give it your best, still you find yourself in the middle of uncontrolled kids and discouraging methods of discipline.
I think this is the time for you to try parenting in a different way – called as positive parenting way.
Positive attracts positive:
The most important ways to handle your child is to have positive attitude and positive ways. The way that you will expose your role as a parent is very important, because your children will look up to your ways and follow your examples.
Just remember the thing that you are the most important person in your child’s life, and you need to ensure that he or she has a superior position in life with your positive illustrations.
Don’t be shouting and angering on your children for all the time. These are the negative ways of parenting that result to double-negative with your kids.
Stay calm and focus on the plans that you desire to put for yourself as a parent. These are very helpful in positively dealing with your children.
Parenting is hard work. Being called as mom or dad by your child is not parenting; it is doing everything that you can do for your child so that they will turn into well adjusted adults in the future.
Though it is a difficult role, still it is a very rewarding one. Parenting is the process of continuous learning and hard work every day.
Not having positive attitude towards parenting will fill the days of parenting with anger, hopelessness and frustration, rather than more optimism and love for your child. Positive parenting ways will require you to change the negative ones.
When your child violates your rules, it is not easy for you to calm down, breathe and not shout; rather it requires all your parenting strength and love to deal with things in a different way.
On the other hand, positive will always attracts positive. This improves your child’s mental and emotional state and also the behavior.
Positive parenting helps your child live through your positive attitude and helps in developing your child’s social skills in a more positive and practical ways.
I think you have heard the words, for every action there is equal reaction, similar to it positive action equals positive reaction.
Ways of a positive parenting:
Every child needs to learn the right way of life, similar to it every parent need to learn positive parenting basics like child disciplining, helping the child with homework, forming their behavior in the right way, and talking with the children.
You may find some ways in which you can show a positive grip and thoughts towards the things that have develop into frustrating and unconstructive.
Discipline is very important for every parent to teach respect and responsibility for their children.
Discipline also motivates a child, builds child’s self esteem, and let his or her feel loved. Positive discipline helps you to inspire your child the importance of actions and how they have to be responsible about it.
Most of the parents when asked for, how you discipline your child generally explain how you punish his or her.
Generally you scold, yell, spank, removing your child’s rights, restricting your child from entering into his her bedroom. Nevertheless punishment and discipline is never the same things at all.
Discipline is all about instructing the child in making the right decisions. It is teaching them how to make healthier choices on how they act and also being responsible for their events and showing them that they have the control to select their actions.
Being a parent you should recognize the distinction between seeking control of your child through punishment, and seeking assistance from them through discipline. Punishment is at all times the weaker and rarely the better approach for discipline.
As a parent you need to think that discipline is all about instructing your child through decision making, then you and your children will gain a better and mutual positive approach towards discipline in general.
Self esteem in your child is very much influenced by the quality of time that you spend with them, but not the amount of time. With busy life schedules that start to take most of your time, then you will confuse to spend time with visibility to your children.
Some parents think that the children can see them at home, you can not said to not spend time with them – this is an incorrect notion.
As a parent, it is essential that you put 100 percent focused attention on how you spend time with your children. Each day your child will want “genuine encounter moments” with you.
This will be the positive moment that you can create in their little mind and heart of how greatly you care and love them.
Positive moments establish a bond between you and your child that will go a long way. One thing you need to remember is recognize the feelings that your child may give you throughout these moments.
Don’t make a judgment that these feelings as right or wrong. If your child tells you that you never spend time with them even you have just played with them, know that they are just saying how they feel. In these situations, you just try to validate their feelings.
Most often you employ firmness in a rude and uncaring way. This should not be the case.
As a parent you need to be firm, but the firmness must be positive, meaning that you should be firm with what you say, but you need to do it with love and kindness.
Whenever you are firm with your child, ask yourself whether you motivated them through love or fear.
Positive firmness that you show to your child will allow them know that you are true to your words. The way that you employ will show them your care for them.
Every time ensure that you are consistent with the things you do, particularly with firmness. Keep in mind that, telling one thing and doing another will only confuse your child.
This leads your child to think and do the wrong things if you are not firm and consistent. Every time ensure that your firmness is followed-up when talking to your child and explaining why it had to be gone.
Often you need to give your children more than two-thousand compliance requests in each day. Some parents carry out more of irritating and shouting instead of peacefully conveying and discussing it over with their children. These ineffective negative actions do more harm that good for your child.
So, finally what you decided to do? Every positive parent illustrates positive actions to their children. If you teach your child to be responsible enough to unroll their socks after taking them off, and they seem to ignore you, so stop yelling and repeating it over and over again.
There are many ways that you can show positive actions in situations that you encounter with your children. Keep a goal as you need to be a positive example for your child and also thought.
You should know that nothing can be achieved with unconstructive actions. These actions break the parent-child relationship. Moreover they break your child’s spirit or cause them to fight against you.
If your child experiences the consequences, he/she can learn from their mistakes. There are two types of consequences, and the effects will depend on the type of consequence.
If your child will be given with negative consequences then it will make the child against you and he/she hates you, whereas positive consequences will make the children wiser.
Correctly positive consequences are specified according to the fault, at the correct time and at correct reason. Also, some positive consequences are natural; it means you must not interfere with the consequences of the child’s action.
Consider this example, if your child forgets the lunch box at home; don’t bring it to them no matter how hard it is. This allows your child to search for solutions and learn the value of remembering.
Most of the time, some consequences may be too far in the future and it is not practical to use the natural consequences. When you are in such situations, positive logical consequences are work effectively. A logical consequence becomes positive only when they relate to the child’s behavior.
For example, suppose that you punish your child for two weeks as he forgot to return a video he barrowed. This punishment only develops anger within him. Instead of this if you return the video for your child, and moreover remove the penalty sum from his payment or let him work off what he owes.
This allows your child to observe the logic in the consequence. This becomes a positive consequence for your child and a positive action for you as a parent.
Sometimes as a parent, you turn out to be caught-up with the idea that you have control on your children – and certainly you. One of the wise saying is, “with great power, comes great responsibility”, so as a parent it is your responsibility to use this power in a positive way.
Your right over your kids does not signify, letting them act what you desire all the time, meaning that listen to their side of the story and recognize why it is extremely hard for the children to follow your rules.
Let your child to share the power that you have. It will help the children to improve child’s self esteem and let them feel they are valuable.
You can do this in simple ways by asking their advice, helping you in shopping, giving choices, allowing them as part of your cooking, or allowing them in helping with budgeting.
Allowing the children share in what they look up is different from doing things for them. This allows them to know that they are very important part of your life.
The basic principles:
Positive parenting will not be a simple alteration for those who have gotten used to the negative ways. Though, it is possible and the first step will be by working it each day for whatever situations encountered with children.
As a parent recognize by heart that your child’s manners will be supported or deteriorated by your actions. Children character will finally respond better to constructive ways of parenting; whether they have been punished or reinforced.
The manner you have parented the children will really reveal on how they turn into in the future.
At last, you need to know that your child’s character will not occur by magic – it will be inherited. You need to be the most powerful influence on your children.
Think carefully about what you speak and achieve the things in front of them because they are just but imitations of the kind of parenting that you have showed them.