There are plenty of savvy kids out there that like to try and pit one parent against the other by saying such things as, “Mommy would let me,” or “I don’t have to eat that at Dad’s.”
Communication is the Key!
Though you may not want to speak with your ex about anything at certain points during the break up you must do so if you have children.
Sit down and write a list of rules that will hold true for both houses and stick to those rules.
If the children realize that you are talking about their discipline to each other they won’t be as likely to try and play one of you against the other one. It’s much harder to manipulate when both parties are in open communication about behavior and what is expected of your kids.
Follow through with Consequences
Both parents will find that no matter how your parenting skills differ that when a consequence is presented for an action it must be followed through if it is to be effective.
If you tell your child they are not allowed to watch TV until all homework is done, don’t give in because of whining, crying or even just inattention as your child will quickly come to realize that what you say is not always what you mean.
Have a Monthly or Weekly Meeting with Your Ex
In order to stay on top of what is going on in school and on the social front in the lives of your kids parents not living together should have a time to meet on a regular basis such as weekly, bi monthly or monthly.
Parents can compare what their children are telling them so as not to lose ground on the rules. Children thrive in a routine atmosphere that is calm and predictable. They actually want their parents to tell them what to do so they don’t have to until they’re ready.
You and your ex can effectively parent your children together even if your styles of parenting are miles apart. Communicate, discuss and follow through so that your children will still have some sort of stability even amidst the emotions that are brought to the surface when your family is in the process of disassembling.