The archetypal badly behaved child who throws a tantrum each time he doesn’t get his way, or who displays her displeasure with things by acting out in different ways, may not be just the perceived willful offender that we see at first glance. Though bad behavior from kids is undoubtedly hard on the parents, it isn’t good for the child either.
Consider things from a child’s perspective – they are told what to do, when to do it and how to do it as well. They are often forbidden things that they want to do by an adult.
Kids face peer pressure and stress at school and then there are rules at home that they have to toe the line with. It is only natural that a child will experience frustration and aggravation at this combination of factors.
Many children will find an outlet for this by acting out, showing aggressive behavior and throwing tantrums; what we adults generally classify as ‘bad behavior’.
This bad behavior is uncontrolled behavior on part of the child and is not just unattractive to behold, but bad for the child as well.
Giving in to bouts of angry and aggressive behavior makes a child feel out of control and this does not foster positive self regard.
Even we as adults do feel sorry and regretful after an outburst of some sort because it shows that we were unable to keep our emotions in control – children can feel a similar sense of shame after a display of loss of control. Some kids sulk, others use bad or provocative language, some are simply rude, others break things or show other forms of aggression, when they are angry or frustrated.
After they calm down they can feel deflated and perhaps ashamed as well.
As it is important for adults to develop coping mechanisms, it is important for kids as well. Teaching a child about self control and showing them what a healthy outlet for anger can be, can help them greatly. It can show them how to respond in a stressful situation and this is important for later in life as well.
A toddler throwing a tantrum every time he doesn’t get his way at home means that the parents have to deal with the tantrum, but an older child throwing a tantrum is school is even less acceptable because even more people are involved here. This sort of behavior can earn the child ridicule from peers and censure from a teacher, further exacerbating the situation.
So try and see what it is that leads the child to so called bad behavior. If possible try and prevent the situation from occurring, to head off the bad behavior at the pass so to speak. However this is not always possible and the child will often have to hear things that she doesn’t like to hear. She has to be gently made to understand how to respond to something that causes frustration or anger or stress.
Coping mechanisms that a child learns early in life, will stand him in good stead later in life as well; meanwhile it makes for more peaceful parenting right now.
