As a first time mom, life can get very frustrating and confusing.
You can read every book available and do all the research, but there never seem to be enough answers.
To top it off, all the helpful advice you get from family members and friends can actually end up making you more confused.
So how do you know you are doing a good job? The truth is being a parent doesn’t have an exact do and don’t list. Each child is different and what may work for you may not work for someone else.
Thankfully, children are very forgiving and they don’t hold a grudge. Consider the following tips to feel guilt free as a first time parent.
Don’t Sweat for the Small Stuff
It may seem very important to feed the baby [Feeding Newborn] every four hours and pat their back at least thirty times after each bottle. However, no one is keeping score or running a tally.
If the baby is asleep when it’s time to eat, no one is going to declare you “worst mother ever” because you would rather let the baby nap than wake her up.
You also have to learn to accept the small failures. Every parent has at some point done something wrong. Maybe you forget the diaper bag, the stroller, or the playpen, who cares? Life will go on and the baby surely won’t care by this time tomorrow. It is not a catastrophe, just relax and move on.
You Are More than Just A Parent!
The biggest thing most parents complain about is the loss of identity. After the first month it may seem that all you do is clean, feed, change diapers, and try to get fifteen minutes of sleep when possible. It doesn’t have to be this way though.
You need to develop a strong support system that will help you keep your identity. Make a list of all the things you were doing before becoming a mother or father.
You were defiantly a son or daughter, maybe a brother or sister, and you are sure to find many people considered you a friend. Take time out from being a parent, at least once a week, to continue being those people as well.
Sleep Deprivation Is Not Healthy
As a new parent you will want to take on every task, accomplish every goal, and do it all with only two hours of sleep. While this may be a noble effort it is unhealthy in many ways.
If you don’t get enough sleep you will quickly become cranky, start making mistakes, and your mental state will decline.
Swallow your pride and concede to the fact that your body requires more than two hours a night. Ask for help from friends and family members. You may find plenty of people are willing to pitch in so you can get a nap.
The biggest lesson you will ever learn as a parent is that mistakes happen. You cannot do it all or control it all. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can enjoy your new baby rather than constantly worrying.