You feel like it was just yesterday when your teenager begged you to take him out for ice cream, and asked for your help in one of the small precious moments of life.
How and when did all this change, you wonder, where did that little angel go, leaving this rebellious strong headed obstinate teenager in his place?
Not only is your child now speaking an entirely new language, he no longer wants you around or even need you to be around him.
You feel like you have been shunted out of his life unceremoniously; you are no longer his ‘hero’, you are more of a thorn in his side and for no fault of yours.
Do not despair, all is not lost! This is a typical teenage behavior, and is a plea for independence, and it is up to you to find ways and means for the bond between your child and you to remain as strong as it ever was.
What do you do? Try this, for example. Start a conversation with something neutral: “How do you like that new movie?” There is no scope for controversy and argument with such an opening, and the trick is to remain positive, even when you feel frustrated and about to lose your temper with your teen.
Don’t start off any conversation with your teen on a defensive note: you will only put him on the defensive, and it will get you nowhere.
Even if you do have to address a controversial topic, start off on a positive and neutral note, and get him to start talking before the conversation escalates into an argument and thereafter into an open spat. If you only talk to him negatively, remember, he will not want to talk to you at all.
Another important tip that will help you bond with your teen is to remember that he is no longer a child; he is now an independent young man, who can think for himself. Respect his wishes when he says he does not wish to talk now, and also respect his privacy: he will respect you for it at a later time.
Make efforts to learn what your teen enjoys doing at this stage in his life, and try to be more of a friend to him than a parent.
Home is haven: Keep your home a safe haven for your teen, where you can renew your bonds with him. Make mealtimes a time for togetherness: this is the place where there is no peer pressure, and your teen will not feel embarrassed to be caught doing things for his mom and dad.
Bond with your teenager! Follow these tips and bond better with your teen so that your bond remains as strong and unshakeable as ever as both of you progress through life.