Why Is Nagging Counterproductive?

Not only does nagging grate the person at whom it is directed, it also does nothing for the nagger.

It does not lift one’s mood or make them feel better, because it produces no results for the most part.

So the next time you feel like nagging, ask yourself if there is not a more constructive way of going about getting things done?

Imagine for a minute your child going on and on about something that they want; say a new toy. It is repeated, it is unrelenting; as sort of water on stone technique formed to wear you down.nagging

You think to yourself what did you do to deserve it! Where the child got it from, you think to yourself! Well you know what they say, what goes around, comes around.

A child will usually pick up what he or she hears and sees and if your child is whining a lot, ask yourself if you are not guilty of nagging? Don’t get me wrong I am not saying here that every whining child whines because of a nagging parent; not at all. But do introspect if your child is whining a lot; it should not be that your child is simply acting out the childish equivalent of nagging.

Also understand that as you will mostly tune out the whining of a child, so the child will learn to tune out the nagging, so that nagging is not only ineffectual, it is also counterproductive because it teaches a child to ‘tune out’ repeated instructions.

So how do you stop yourself from nagging your child? Well for one remembers that you are the adult in the situation, and nagging is a grown up equivalent of whining.

So since you are the grown up you cannot whine. Be firm, be unequivocal and tell the child what is required to be done in no uncertain terms. Make sure that you have your child’s attention and get down to his or her level, look her in the eye and then make sure the message gets across.

There is no need to order, just firmness that brooks no refusal will do. That firmness of attitude may well get the job done as no amount of nagging ever could.

Also resist the urge to be sarcastic or cutting; it can be tempting, but that can be detrimental to a child’s fragile self esteem and makes an adult sound perilously like a child themselves.

So if you as a parent manage to remember that you are the adult in that situation you may well be able to break free from the vicious cycle of nag-disobey-nag!


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